Day 33 pt. 3

it is astounding how the passing of days or even hours can bring upon the change in moods. like that of the tides, they so effortlessly can rise and fall without a moments notice. news of quality can reach my ears and lift my spirits; however, well received news hardly lifts my soul like that of my love. she pulls my heart from the ashes and sets it on fire. her passion and affinity for me gives me faith in notions i had, at one time thought to be unfounded. she is spectacular when she doesn't realize it, and those fleeting moments of complete and utter vulnerability that i am crippled by the breathtaking magnitude of my love for her. in her various stages of undressed, both in her body and in her soul, when i see her in total nakedness with no threads or walls around her i know the meaning of love and life. she would do anything to please me, and i her. when she is i would burn the entire world to cinders to see her satisfied. i would let ships of fortune and capital set sail just to see that she stays mine forever and always.
still the thought of success after my return to the states is appealing. i have always lived by the criteria that if i end up slaving over a desk from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon that i would be better suited ending my life. i write that statement not to imply that a a man who puts his nose to the grindstone behind a desk are anything to be mocked, i simply have always felt that there was something more for me. i dream far too much and far to great to be stuck world so compact; my heart yearns and craves to create, to connect, and to be share my imagination with souls who are like minded. and i will, i am determined and my resolve is stronger than it has ever been. however, i don't wish to fool myself, i have no qualms with poverty, it is not about money, it is about not falling in place to some predestined life. i will do what i want, what i was designed to do. for the benefit of me and for the benefit of the one who i want to one day be my bride.