Day 179

since i last wrote,
january wrapped itself up, february ate itself as well. I was home for parts of both months, so it goes without saying that both of them went by so fast i hardly had a moment to catch my breath. now march is here, and it's so close to being over but the days slide along like a slug on hot concrete. i wish i had the will to talk about my leave, but it already feels as if it was ages ago. this is fine, because now i only have going home to look forward to. one important date to the next. three months, maybe three and a half until i am home, maybe four... who knows, out of harms way by that point.
the winter is over, while i was in afghanistan, it was mild, to say the least. maybe i missed all the highlights, or maybe it was just wasn't a banner year for afghanistan. but now dog days are upon me, sultry days with sweat beads and exhaustion. i can feel them riding the heels of the hundred days of wind. the men around the base curse more than often and their posture is more aggressive, maybe that comes with the heat or maybe it comes with the heat. despite the rising tide of warmer weather, surely to bring more war, i feel solace. i have seen things that no one should see, perhaps i bury them or choose to not let them to break down the walls i have built around myself while in the place; whatever the case may be, i continue to feel comforted. this is not to say that i don't worry, because that isn't the case, by any means. often, my paranoia will get the best of me and i will lay awake, tossing and turning, wondering what moves will be played next. the comfort from this comes from being constantly wrong. in these times of cases, it is perfectly acceptable and admirable to be wrong. just because you believe though, doesn't always make mean it doesn't exist.
in the other room there are people watching 'night court' on the constantly blue hued flatscreen television. i sometimes forget 'night court' was even a show, even though it was one of the biggest shows in the 70's and 80's. everything exists somewhere. what a strange world.

-YtWt