Day 27 pt. 3

i have no devotion in my heart greater than the love i have for my beloved. our passion is strained by seas and mountains and valleys. and yet we remain strong and impregnable. plagued by time and contretemps, the absence of skin grazing skins and face to face exchange would be enough to devastate most lovers. and yet my love and i remain tough and determined. my passion for her is fierce, my desires to touch her body and kiss her face keep me motivated to stay alive, stay vigilante, and keep my head on a swivel.
i want nothing more than to one day make her my bride and stare down the face of the great unknown by her side, holding her hand, squeezing it twice.
where is my love? where is my happy ending? when she dreams does she dream of our past adventures? does she see my face in the buildings and pastimes where we've shared our ? when she touches herself is it me she imagines? and when i return to her will i be what she remembered? will she still want me when my head becomes swollen with regrets and guilt? will she stand beside me when my sanity is on the brink and thoughts of madness tease me and beckon me to join their procession down the long dark road to lunacy? will she pull me from the sorrow of war and bring me into her heavenly arms, and comfort my soul, and tend to my wounds? these are the thoughts that enter my ticker and pull at my heart strings when i am away and missing her glow.
what is love? is it the pheromones, phenylethylamine, the dopamine and the oxytocin? does my brain release it's emissions causing my heart to flutter?  am i nothing more than a science experiment? or is my love my desire to be next to her until i take in my last breath? is it my longing to serve her and spoil her with affection and all the material possessions i can possibly afford to buy? is it my need to see her, to be in her, and around her? my brain has literally become rewired from bond we share. i'd like to think that it's both, the chemicals inside my head release because she is meant to be, meant for me.
there are days when everything feels alright in my heart until i look down at my hands and see the spaces in between my fingers, where her fingers fit perfectly. i to want to flood her thoughts and cover her heart. to never let her go another day without my touch, to have and to hold under death rips us apart.
my love. my life. forever.